At the bar one afternoon, while working on the first draft of The Waterclock Wars, I was greeted by a gentleman who referred to himself as Lucky. His friend was eager to be off to their original destination, but Lucky had dedicated himself to drawing me away from my tablet. Normally, this would annoy me. After all, if a girl brings work to the corner bar, she likely wants to be left alone. And I almost always want to be left alone.
Why write in a bar? Well, aside from the obvious magic of the third chardonnay, simply put, I like the noise. The white noise. The din. Something about it cancels out the static in my brain box and helps me focus. This particular tavern has the ambiance of Cheers and, while not everyone knows my name, the bartenders certainly do, and a chardonnay is poured for me before I even sit down. There’s something I quite like about that too.
In any event, Lucky was persistent, in a riotously charming sort of way. His friend, huffing, left to wait in the car. For an hour, Lucky regaled me with his remodeling adventures and bought me a round. I chatted about my book, swing dancing and my unsuccessful hunt for a tractor tire.
“What you need a tire for,” he asked, brow raised.
“I want to work out like Batman,” I answered. As it happened, Lucky had one such tire on his property and we arranged to have it dropped off at my home.
I have yet to work out like Batman. In fact, it sits exactly where Lucky left it. Last Christmas, I went outside with a roll of gold ribbon and wrapped it up like a present. Every day, I pass it on the stone path leading to my front door. I smile at it ruefully, touch the gold bow jutting out at the top. Soon, I promise.
Over the weekend, I helped my friend move. There were stairs. There were so many stairs. Three days later, my calves are still cramping. Most people get potassium from bananas. I avoid bananas due to their carb content and must source my potassium elsewhere. For extended workout programs or long festival weekends, I prepare with a regimented water program and a minimum of one avocado a day. I forgot to pick up avocado to recover from move day. Lessons learned.
Fitness is an adventure that builds on itself. In my experience, it is self-competitive. It is a discipline, sure, but also a challenge to do better than the day before, the week before, the month and year before. Last year was Insanity and swing dance. The year before that was keto and marathon training. This year, potassium vitamins and Batman.
I’ve arranged a trainer. I am jogging distance from a crossfit gym. All I need is a harness, battle ropes, and a sledge hammer. And potassium vitamins.
Because muscle cramps are for the birds.